Mutual pining? What about double mutual pining? Where best friends Steve and Natasha work together and pine over the cute human disasters that continually walk through the door of their cafe and who they think are dating each other. Enter best friends Bucky and Clint who think Steve and Nat are together and hide their feelings behind awkwardness and loud forced laughter. Sam is the knowing regular who often blogs about them and they unknowingly read his blog and root for themselves.

greenbergsays:

I know all of my followers love to hear about them, so I thought I’d let you know that Socially Inept and Model-Hot Swagger are back. They just walked through the door and immediately scanned the room for Raging Bisexual and Terrifying Seductress. It wasn’t even subtle, guys. The barista actually facepalmed.

Shouldda seen how hangdog they looked when they realized RB and TS weren’t here.

More updates as the story unfolds.

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Look at this mess, SI and MHS barely seated with their drinks when RB and TS walked in. I can’t believe they know each other’s schedules this well.

RB is blushing like crazy. TS looks like she wants to eat SI. MHS is somewhere between admiring the goods and looking like he actually wants to flip the table. 

All four of them are just frozen, staring at one another.

This is disturbing.

Barista just gave me this, are you seeing this shit? look. Yes, Barista. Yes I am.

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Did you know that heart eyes are a real thing? I’m witnessing them as we speak.

Seriously, man. MHS and RB are going for gold in the Heart Eyes Olympics. 

TS still looks like she wants to eat SI alive. How is this dude not scared shitless? Can’t he FEEL her gaze? My god.

When she looks away to talk to RB, SI looks at her like she’s the fucking sun. 

This is disgusting.

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Barista just started mime-retching behind the counter. I almost snorted cappuccino.

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Things I actually heard SI say, “why does she have to be taken?”

Does he mean –

Does he actually think  –

dear god. I’m witnessing an actual romantic comedy. No wonder these fools won’t make a move.

They think RB & TS are together.

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MHS & RB accidentally bumped into each other on their way to get refills. Or maybe it’s “accidentally,” not enough data to say for sure.

Either way, they’re all stammery and MHS is usually suave as fuck, I’ve seen him around campus a couple of time. No one can charm a girl like this motherfucker.

But now? It’s embarrassing how suave he isn’t.

Barista just threw down the cups she was restocking and half-climbed onto the counter so that she could shout at them:

“JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY.”

I laughed so hard, everyone’s staring at me now. RB looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust.

How can one person blush so much??

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RB & TS left. MHS looks like he’s about to strangle the barista. 

The plot has thickened but the Four Pines & A Lonely Blogger saga continues, unfortunately.

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Look guys, I got all your messages but let me tell you: I am not about to fuck with these white people’s love lives.

Let them sort it out for themselves.

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Jesus, fine!

I’ll try to do something about it. But I’m not promising anything!