gothvelma:

thebibliosphere:

earlgreytea68:

involuntaryorange:

ladyprydian:

involuntaryorange:

ivyblossom:

itisithekawaiifrenchfry:

mayors-and-mentats:

mariesbookblog:

cactustreemotel:

nanner:

penguinperversion:

awez:

kelsium:

sobriquetinbedgrowyrhair:

riverofwater:

drunksuburbancollegegirl:

Men describing women’s appearances and bodies in literature is universally traumatic

this is why i can’t read one word that tom robbins fucker has ever written

once i read him describe a vagina and then every thing i ever read from him just made me think of that horrible passage

was it “She could always tell when she was about to ovulate because her vaginal mucus would become wetter and more abundant than usual, and more smooth and slippery, too. Her glands were greasing the tracks, as it were, for the Sperm Express. Of course, testing for ovulation can be hazardous, since a primed vagina, in its enthusiasm, can mistake an exploratory finger for a serviceable phallus and try to draw it in. Her resistance was admirable, however, if not quite heroic, and the mucus tests proved that she had begun, inadvertently but successfully, to practice lunaception.”

If I had to read this you have to read this.

this can’t be an actual thing someone wrote. you’re lying right?

Oh, it is! Still Life with Woodpecker.

Jesus fucking christ on a cracker.

Holy nope.

if this is burned into my brain forever it’s also gonna be burned into yours

sperm express omg

You know, sometimes I think about shit I’ve written and get a little upset about how cringe worthy it is. This makes me feel a little better

Man writes a paragraph about a woman’s body; inexplicably but unsurprisingly, it’s about a penis.

Do vaginas… “draw in” penises? Is that something that happens?

Theoretically yes the vagina during orgasm can cause a ‘drawing in’ sensation as it contracts. 

But it’s not like, say, a vacuum.

Right, and it sounded like he was not describing an orgasm but rather someone who is so turned on that her “enthusiastic” (pardon me while I gag) vagina turns into a dick vacuum.

I mean, PIV sex is not my forte, but that did not sound right to me.

Don’t you know that sometimes a woman is walking by a man and ovulation has begun and her vaginal mucus is abundant and – THWOOP – it just sucks a passerby’s penis right in? I mean, that happens literally all the time. THWOOP, THWOOP, you can barely walk down a New York street without penises being drawn in by voracious vaginas all over the place. 

Vagina is hungry. Vagina must feed.

On a related note I’m going to go stab my eyes out now.

it’s basically a sarlacc pit down there