romancypants:

bi-fly-and-datingaguy:

You know what’s messed up? People make fun of women for reading romance novels in which men are kind, chivalrous and sexually generous to the women they love, but men watching violent hardcore porn where women choke on dicks is considered normal, and ‘shaming’ someone for it is considered more taboo than the porn itself.
And women reading romance novels has certainly yet to lead to a culture where men are considered lesser if they don’t emulate the men in the pages.
I wonder the fuck why.

WHERE HAS THIS POST BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE

jynxtsilevon:

singing-supper:

Carrie Fisher’s autopsy reveals she had high levels of “Mind your own fucking business” as well as “Who the fuck made that report public anyway”

The autopsy revealed she 

drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. We already knew this

theveryhornycaterpillar:

• A customer pleads to be let in after closing time. They only need one item. They only ever need one Item.
• A customer is looking for an item. You do not sell the item. You have never sold the item. You do not know what the item is.
• An item does not scan. “It must be free” the customer jokes. You look at them, their mouth hangs open as they laugh. They have too many teeth. 
• You ask your colleague how their day is going. They look back at you their eyes hollow and devoid of hope. You nod in understanding. No more is said.
• A security barrier goes off. You look around but there is nobody there. There is just noise.
• You say good morning to a customer. You hope it is still morning. You are no longer sure how time works. 
• Colleagues  disappear as they move on to better things. You do not know where they go but sometimes you see them months later. Their eyes are bright and their smiles real. You know better than to question these things.
• There is a man. He comes in every Wednesday. You have never seen him buy anything.
• You see an actor from that happy show years before. They are looking at deodorant. They look sad. 
• You go to the stockroom to find an item. You look around but there is nothing. The system says you have thirty two. The system always say you have thirty two.
• You walk through the warehouse. All you can see in every direction is Christmas trees. It is July.
• They ask to speak to a manager. You look around- there are no managers. you cannot remember the last time you saw a manager. What does a manager look like? 

roachpatrol:

Here’s a story about changelings: 

Mary was a beautiful baby, sweet and affectionate, but by the time she’s three she’s turned difficult and strange, with fey moods and a stubborn mouth that screams and bites but never says mama. But her mother’s well-used to hard work with little thanks, and when the village gossips wag their tongues she just shrugs, and pulls her difficult child away from their precious, perfect blossoms, before the bites draw blood. Mary’s mother doesn’t drown her in a bucket of saltwater, and she doesn’t take up the silver knife the wife of the village priest leaves out for her one Sunday brunch. 

She gives her daughter yarn, instead, and instead of a rowan stake through her inhuman heart she gives her a child’s first loom, oak and ash. She lets her vicious, uncooperative fairy daughter entertain herself with games of her own devising, in as much peace and comfort as either of them can manage.

Mary grows up strangely, as a strange child would, learning everything in all the wrong order, and biting a great deal more than she should. But she also learns to weave, and takes to it with a grand passion. Soon enough she knows more than her mother–which isn’t all that much–and is striking out into unknown territory, turning out odd new knots and weaves, patterns as complex as spiderwebs and spellrings. 

“Aren’t you clever,” her mother says, of her work, and leaves her to her wool and flax and whatnot. Mary’s not biting anymore, and she smiles more than she frowns, and that’s about as much, her mother figures, as anyone should hope for from their child. 

Mary still cries sometimes, when the other girls reject her for her strange graces, her odd slow way of talking, her restless reaching fluttering hands that have learned to spin but never to settle. The other girls call her freak, witchblood, hobgoblin.

“I don’t remember girls being quite so stupid when I was that age,” her mother says, brushing Mary’s hair smooth and steady like they’ve both learned to enjoy, smooth as a skein of silk. “Time was, you knew not to insult anyone you might need to flatter later. ‘Specially when you don’t know if they’re going to grow wings or horns or whatnot. Serve ‘em all right if you ever figure out curses.”

“I want to go back,” Mary says. “I want to go home, to where I came from, where there’s people like me. If I’m a fairy’s child I should be in fairyland, and no one would call me a freak.”

“Aye, well, I’d miss you though,” her mother says. “And I expect there’s stupid folk everywhere, even in fairyland. Cruel folk, too. You just have to make the best of things where you are, being my child instead.”

Mary learns to read well enough, in between the weaving, especially when her mother tracks down the traveling booktraders and comes home with slim, precious manuals on dyes and stains and mordants, on pigments and patterns, diagrams too arcane for her own eyes but which make her daughter’s eyes shine.

“We need an herb garden,” her daughter says, hands busy, flipping from page to page, pulling on her hair, twisting in her skirt, itching for a project. “Yarrow, and madder, and woad and weld…”

“Well, start digging,” her mother says. “Won’t do you a harm to get out of the house now’n then.”

Mary doesn’t like dirt but she’s learned determination well enough from her mother. She digs and digs, and plants what she’s given, and the first year doesn’t turn out so well but the second’s better, and by the third a cauldron’s always simmering something over the fire, and Mary’s taking in orders from girls five years older or more, turning out vivid bolts and spools and skeins of red and gold and blue, restless fingers dancing like they’ve summoned down the rainbow. Her mother figures she probably has.

“Just as well you never got the hang of curses,” she says, admiring her bright new skirts. “I like this sort of trick a lot better.”

Mary smiles, rocking back and forth on her heels, fingers already fluttering to find the next project.

She finally grows up tall and fair, if a bit stooped and squinty, and time and age seem to calm her unhappy mouth about as well as it does for human children. Word gets around she never lies or breaks a bargain, and if the first seems odd for a fairy’s child then the second one seems fit enough. The undyed stacks of taken orders grow taller, the dyed lots of filled orders grow brighter, the loom in the corner for Mary’s own creations grows stranger and more complex. Mary’s hands callus just like her mother’s, become as strong and tough and smooth as the oak and ash of her needles and frames, though they never fall still.

“Do you ever wonder what your real daughter would be like?” the priest’s wife asks, once.

Mary’s mother snorts. “She wouldn’t be worth a damn at weaving,” she says. “Lord knows I never was. No, I’ll keep what I’ve been given and thank the givers kindly. It was a fair enough trade for me. Good day, ma’am.”

Mary brings her mother sweet chamomile tea, that night, and a warm shawl in all the colors of a garden, and a hairbrush. In the morning, the priest’s son comes round, with payment for his mother’s pretty new dress and a shy smile just for Mary. He thinks her hair is nice, and her hands are even nicer, vibrant in their strength and skill and endless motion.  

They all live happily ever after.

*

Here’s another story: 

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